sooo im at starbucks again lol
i just got out from seeing the new twilight movie, new moon. now im not a twilight fan i've seen the movies and read 3 of the books cause of my lil sis and im not gonna hate on the characters or the trama either, if u like twilight thn good for you but i will say this: sadly i saw myself reflected on the bella character.

the only time i've read tht book i said tht it is stupid to show little girls tht it is ok to let yourself die for a guy and i still stand by it, yet we cant help but to feel like we are dead whn the one we love abandon us for no aparent reason.
my sis said something today, she said "whn she was friend with his ex she didnt talk to me, whn she became his gf she didnt talk to me, thn she became emo and she didnt talk at all and now she is talking to him (jack) and she doesnt talk to me, again" and during the movie when bella is just letting time pass she looks at me and says "she reiminds me of wht u went through" and she was right.
its not easy dealing with a broken heart and some ppl, including bella and myself, will go down self hurting paths to feel alive. THIS IS NOT RIGHT, AND SHOULD NOT BE TAUGHT TO LITTLE GIRLS. we should have female characters tht represent strenght and endurance, yet every once in a while we do become bella and if we are lucky enough we'll find a jack... i mean jake who will pick up the pieces and put us back together again even if we never function the same way again.

i am very happy with my life right now, i have a boy who loves me very much and i am taking care of myself. i havent smoked or cut and i just need my paint back lol, but i am really scared of going down tht road again, cause its not fun being bella... in any way.

on other news my boy gets here the 12, my sis the 14, katie the 16 and debs the 17. now if i can just avoid my ex through all the vacation and hang out with ema and yai and jack and ali and deb and julian and katie i will be as happy as a clam

now off to do hw ttyl

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